Wash and Die book two: Blood, Sweat and Tears

Thirsty?

1. Sensationalize the rim of a pint glass with high-brow hack writing. To do so, pour Tug Job Grandma’s Cold Chunky Soup onto a small plate, moisten the rim of the glass with bitterness and disdain and press into the microwaved story.

2. Pour blood, sweat, and beer into a top-loading washer and fill with ice. Shake briefly and strain through a pair of clean panties into the sensationalized pint glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with imitation-crab poetry, a stalk of juvenile debauchery, a skewer of minced dead prostitute and exclamation marks stuck onto a toothpick.

3. Drink.

4. Don’t think.

5. Repeat.

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